All the King’s Men: Jacques Ollewagen

Jaques is an outdoorsy sort looking for love. (Image: Jaques Ollewagen)

Interviewer: Emily Bouma

I had the privilege of interviewing Jacques for this edition. As a preview: his go-to pick up line involves asking whether or not you like raisins, and his follow up question may regard your feelings about dates.

Tell us about yourself.

Woo. I think I’m a fifth year student… I started in January 2016, so you can do the math. I’m in ENVS with a concentration in biology and will hopefully be a polar bear hero someday. I grew up in Central Alberta, in Lacombe – a small-ish town. And I love being active and outside, ripping it up with the buddies.

So, are Saturdays for the boys?

Totally. I might need to implement a cap on that if I have a significant other to balance it and keep her happy, you know?

I’ve heard that you like rugby. Does your dream girl also have to enjoy the sport?

I love rugby! It’s a fun sport to be a part of and watch from the side. She should appreciate the spectacle of it.

How single are you?a

Good gravy. More single than a slice of pre-wrapped cheddar cheese, and that cheddar cheese can be put in between two slices of bread to make a nice grilled cheese. I like sourdough, rye bread, or anything super brown that has seeds.

Are you pursuing love at King’s?

Me? No. Strictly education. Well not strictly education, it’s okay if other things fall between the bread – butter, margarine, mayonnaise.

So do you plan to marry young?

Probably not. I’m career driven and want to establish my own life before committing to someone else. Myself first: that’s a quote to live by.

What are you looking for in a gal?

A hint of originality and just being their genuine selves, not fixated on things or lifestyle but more so being themselves and not caught up in mainstream things. I’m more of a hip dude. The hips don’t lie.

What kind of music do you listen to?

I listen to all kinds of different music. There’s good and bad music in every genre - I really do believe that. But if I had to pick, it’d be rock or alternative rock.

Describe what your ideal first date would look like.

A drink is easiest because if it’s going poorly then you can dip more easily. Ideally, you can’t go wrong with Little Brick or Remedy. But BYOB (bring your own bike). Depending on her schedule, we could do something in the evening – I’m numb to coffee so I can drink it whenever. *Jacques ordered a double shot americano for our interview

I see that you post a lot about Saskatchewan on social media. Tell us about that.

I worked there the past two summers. It isn’t actually completely flat! It was very hilly, at least where I was. There are no trees though, so you can indeed see for miles. It was tough being a single guy there, as it’s not a productive breeding ground.

Your hair has also gone through quite a few changes throughout your degree - what is that all about?

I started growing it out in 2017 and grew it for almost 2 years and at the time also had a beard – I basically looked like the European rendition of Jesus. WWJD – what would Jacques do? Well, he would listen to his mom and get a haircut and shave off his beard, so that’s what I did and it was quite short. I shaved my head to buzzcut this summer, but now I want a hockey flow.

Wow, your hair has grown back pretty fast! Do you expect to go bald anytime soon?

It might thin a bit; I have some gaps coming in but only time will tell. My dad isn’t bald yet, he’s got a nice thick head of lettuce.

Anything else that you’d like the readers to know about?

I don’t want to intimidate you. I know that I’m awesome but… don’t feel unworthy. That sounds bad, but don’t ever feel unworthy.

How should a girl contact you if she is interested?

Well, I am the dude so it is customary for me to make the first move. But if you want, I’m not going to stop anyone; and in that case, I’m usually pretty active on Instagram (@jacquesollie). Just sliiide into my dms.

Thanks to Jacques for his time! If you or someone you know would like to be featured in an upcoming edition of All the King’s Men, please contact us at tkuchronicle@gmail.com.